Grandmother Spider

As a newly practicing shamanic practitioner, I have felt pulled toward this Path and encouraged to walk it because I was told by my mentors and by personal shamanic journeys that I had the "Shamanic Illness." I was recently beside myself when I journeyed to the deer tick that bit me and inflicted me with my "illness" three and a half years ago which has recently and finally been diagnosed as chronic Lyme Disease, though I did not know at the time that I was ever bitten.

In a previous journey, months before I was diagnosed with Lyme, I asked what was the root cause of my illness. My Spirit Teacher brought me a big white box, with a red ribbon. I untied the ribbon, and out came this HUGE tick. I was frightened, and as my teacher sensed I was not ready, I was brought back to my body.

In this recent journey, I intended to meet this tick again. I wanted to ask the tick what great teachings it would bring me or would be bringing me. This time a few Spirit Teachers met me, and were talking to me, merging with me and giving me revelations and enlightenment and ~ great teachings.

Suddenly, I was brought to the huge tick! I had forgotten that I had previously asked to speak to it! It began crawling on my head and then appeared bigger than my own head...  Later, I found this very interesting. In shamanism, the thinking mind is never something to be revered.

But at that moment in the journey, I was so frightened! Then, one of my Spirit Teachers said, "There is nothing to fear but fear itself." I told him Roosevelt said that, but he argued that gave that to him. He said that the tick is another form of Grandmother Spider.

In most indigenous cultures, Grandmother Spider or Spider Woman, is a goddess of creation, spinning the Web we are all connected to and with. There are many, many stories reflecting her power and ancient knowledge, each giving different accounts of how Spider came to be and how she interacts with us.

The tick changed her shape to a large Black Spider... and spoke!

Her voice was ancient, whispy and crackly, "I am Grandmother Spider, in one of my forms before you."

"Why did you bite me?" I asked.

"I bite many people, hoping they will see. I am pleased that you see now."

She saw that I did not believe what she was saying. "Why me?" I asked.

"It was your Path," she answered. "You were not listening before your Calling and needed the Sacred Bite of Grandmother to wake up! You were among the many who sleep. There are many who choose to sleep.

"I know your Path has been a difficult awakening, and still as your eyes are widened, illusions will fall and you will see things as they truly are. It is not an easy Path to walk. But you are among the strong. I had great hope for you and still do - because you became stronger and you called on us, the Spirits."

"No," I said, "the Spirits called me and I thought I was going crazy."

"You asked for help and we answered. But, as you know now, you were never crazy. There are many who kill, steal, cheat, rape, lie and form their lives around material possesions, greed and hurting themselves and others. That is crazy. When the white man with their ways saw the natives ones of the Plains dancing their Ghost Dance, which honored the Ancestors passed, the white people judged them and massacred them, then boxed them in and changed their culture. Now that is crazy.

Don't you know I am smarter than humankind? I am wiser and more ancient! I have survived longer through more turns of weather and meteors!

That bacteria in your body is ancient and more intelligent than humankind! Humans are so young and naive, thinking they rule this Earth, but I tell you it is the ones who honor this Earth who will endure. You have been given Sacred Knowledge. Go with this and know it is Truth."

Later, I merged with Grandmother Tick/Spider in my transfiguration work. She changed to a lavender woman holding golden chords in her hands. It was the entire cosmos with the stars, planets and celestial bodies moving through it as she held out her long fingers. I could sense the Gift of Everything she held before me.

"See?" she said. "I knew you would 'see' it."

I basked in knowing her Gift of Everything for me is the Sweetness of the Journey I have gone through - the gain of so much knowledge, spiritual growth, Love from new friends and the turn of some relationships I had previously given up on. She also gives me the Bitterness of Physical Pain and Loss of Everything - tremendous physical pain some days and inability to walk on some occasions. The loss of my previous job, my home, many "friends" - of which now I realize were such necessary changes for me to transition to my present state. She also holds the Mystery of the Cosmos and my connection to everything that has a Spirit. Most of all, she has taught me to be able to surrender to the Cosmos - as it always knows what is for my Highest Good more than I can imagine.

Grandmother sang and her energy was sweet and warm now. I could feel how ancient she was and her compassion ran deep. She song so healing, I cried the entire time.